Just Lindsay's Take

A year ago, I first watched 500 Days of Summer on a flight from Madrid to my hometown. I was struck by the movie’s unconventional portrayal of romance, which differed greatly from the typical love story. The film’s opening scenes, including the well-known elevator encounter where Tom learns of Summer’s love for The Smiths, immediately intrigued me. This moment captured the essence of their relationship—one built on shared interests and idealized expectations.

From the moment I pressed “play,” I found myself captivated by the film’s blend of nostalgic charm and down-to-earth humor. 500 Days of Summer isn’t just a love story; it’s a realistic depiction of modern relationships and personal growth. Before diving into the deeper analysis, and in order to understand my appreciation for this film, it’s important to grasp the story of 500 Days of Summer. Here’s a brief summary of the plot that will provide context for the analysis.

Understanding the Plot: A Brief Summary

500 Days of Summer revolves around a relationship between Tom Hansen, the protagonist, and Summer Finn. Tom and Summer meet while working at the same greeting card company in Los Angeles. Tom quickly falls for Summer after discovering their shared quirky interests. They become very close, engaging in intimate activities like kissing, and holding hands. However, from the beginning, Summer makes it clear  that she isn’t looking for a serious relationship and continuously reminds him of this. Despite her warnings, Tom only falls more deeply in love, projecting his fantasies onto her and believing she is “the one”. When they inevitably break up, Tom is absolutely devastated and does not know how to move forward. They later reconnect at a coworker’s wedding, and they share a dance together. Tom thinks their love can be rekindled, and further believes there is hope of getting back together when Summer invites him to a party. However, Tom only discovers that Summer’s engaged to someone else. Devastated once again, he spirals. He has no more belief in love, and isolates himself from the world, but gradually, he starts to pick himself back up again. He quits his unfulfilling job, and starts pursuing his true dream of being an architect. The film ends with Tom meeting someone named Autumn, leaving the audience to wonder about their future.

The Illusion of Love: Tom’s Idealization of Summer

With a grasp of the plot, I can dive into one of the central themes of the film: Tom’s idealization of Summer. 

While there was a genuine romance that sparked between Tom and Summer, on a deeper level, their relationship was not sustainable. As a kid, Tom quickly romanticized love and believed that he could never be happy, until the day he met “the one”. Tom had strong beliefs in love, soul mates, fate, while Summer did not. After her parents’ divorce, she stopped believing in love and learned to take it for what it was, rather than the idealized version of it.

Right from the start, Summer told Tom that she wasn’t looking for a serious relationship and expressed she didn’t feel comfortable being in one. Tom, on the other hand, had been longing for a committed relationship. He believed that because he and Summer bonded over their niche interests, she was “the one” for him. He projected all of his fantasies onto their relationship, believing she would be the only one to make him happy.

Looking back, Tom eventually realized that although they shared many interests, they were incompatible on a deeper level. Shared interests did not automatically mean that they were meant to be together or that Summer was the love of his life. Tom was blinded by the idealized image he created of Summer, failing to see her for who she truly was.

While it’s a shame the movie didn’t give Summer’s character more depth, it effectively portrays this message. We fully understand Summer because the movie is seen from Tom’s warped perspective. However, Summer’s character development is notable when she gets engaged by the end of the movie. She found someone who made her truly believe in love and who saw her for who she actually was, highlighting how loving the idolized version of someone inhibits a genuine connection, as Summer confirms when she tells Tom she felt something with her fiancé she never felt with him.

Key Points:

• Tom’s belief that Summer is his “soulmate” is based on their shared interests and his projections.
• Tom’s fantasies prevent him from seeing the reality of their relationship.
• Tom’s idealization blinds him to Summer’s true nature.

True Fulfillment: Tom Redefines His Happiness

Tom’s idealization of Summer leads to a broader issue: his dependence on her for happiness

Tom believed that only Summer could make him happy, a completely false statement. He failed to realize that he was his own reliable source of happiness. When Summer breaks up with him, Tom struggles to pick himself back up, isolating himself and living off convenience store food, believing he will never be happy again.

Once Tom truly acknowledges that his relationship with Summer is over–when he learns she’s engaged–he begins to start changing his life for himself. He finds happiness again after pursuing his dream of becoming an architect. Tom realizes that happiness doesn’t lie in a single person and that he has the power to create his own happiness. Happiness exists everywhere and in any situation, regardless of how awful it may be. Ultimately, happiness is a choice that anyone can make. It was difficult for Tom to make that choice because he couldn’t accept that he and Summer were really through. He had to let go of the past and all of the good moments he had.

I believe it’s a really beautiful thing to fully release yourself from the past. Regardless of whether experiences are positive, negative, joyful, or traumatic, ignoring or disregarding them does no good. Tom learns that to move on, he must accept their relationship for what it was. Focusing only on the good moments prevented him from moving on. Once he began to remember the more problematic moments, he had to accept that both the good and bad memories can coexist and that respecting all those emotions is essential to moving on.

 Choosing to believe that you are not worthy of that happiness unless you are with another person places a condition on your happiness, and inhibits true fulfillment.

Key Points:

• Tom initially believes that his happiness hinges solely on his relationship with Summer, viewing her as the answer to all his problems.
• Tom’s journey toward self-fulfillment begins when he acknowledges that happiness must come from within and is not dependent on another person.
• By addressing his own needs and aspirations, Tom gradually rebuilds his life, showing that true fulfillment comes from self-discovery and personal growth, not from external validation.

Lessons Learned: The Necessity of Tom’s Experience

Tom’s relationship with Summer offer larger truths and lessons about navigating life and love.

While Tom’s relationship with Summer caused him a lot of heartache, pain, and confusion, it was necessary for him to find happiness within himself and pursue his true desires. He needed to experience the breakup to realize that his life was not fulfilling without Summer. He had made his relationship with Summer the condition for his happiness. After the break up, he recognized that the life that he had built for himself was not truly his. He had been happy only because of the possibility of meeting “the one” and that person fixing all of his problems.

Tom needed to create a life he truly loved. He was limited by staying in a job that didn’t fulfill him and not pursuing his true passion. I believe Summer also saw this in Tom through her disappointed and sympathetic looks when he talked about his unfulfilled career. Tom was so focused on just the idealization of true love that he lost himself. He needed to rediscover who he was and his passions independently. It’s unsustainable to depend on something beyond your control for happiness. By regaining control over his life and not relying on a relationship for happiness, he found focus in becoming an architect.

Key Points:

• Tom’s relationship with Summer, while painful, forces him to confront and accept the reality of his emotional dependencies and misconceptions about love.
• The experience underscores the dangers of idealizing relationships and people, emphasizing the importance of seeing others and oneself realistically.
• Tom’s journey illustrates the necessity of moving on from past ideals and accepting both the positive and negative aspects of past experiences to grow and find real happiness.

The Impact of Media: Romantic Myths and Reality

As Tom learns to find happiness within himself, the film also critiques the role of media in shaping our perceptions of love. This critique is essential in understanding the unrealistic expectations that influenced Tom’s view of his relationship with Summer.

Tom quits his job at the greeting card company after an outburst during a team meeting. He is frustrated by the company’s promotion of false representations of love. The greeting cards idealized a version of love that Tom had just begun to question. He believed the cards were a simplistic escape from the truth of real love. Tom blames the media for fostering false perceptions of love–portraying it as all-powerful, everlasting, grand, and passionate. In reality, love is messy and lacks a single definition. Media portrayals shape unrealistic expectations, leading Tom to experience pain, disappointment, and confusion because he believed his relationship with Summer was something extraordinary and that she was his soulmate, only to end up heartbroken and confronted with reality.

With the media constantly idealizing many aspects of society, forming our own authentic opinions and beliefs becomes challenging. While learning about different perspectives is valuable, it’s important to recognize the limits of external influences and to develop your own understanding of how you truly feel

Key Points:

• The media portrays love as perfect and passionate.
• The media’s portrayals of love can create unrealistic standards and expectations.
• How the media can shape our personal views and relationships.

Conclusion: The Unique Appeal of 500 Days of Summer

Ultimately, the movie ends with Tom taking a chance and asking Autumn out. Whether or not he romanticizes their relationship and makes his happiness dependent on her is left to our imagination. However, the film’s depiction of the entire cycle of Tom’s life before and after his relationship with Summer makes it much more meaningful. Unlike typical rom-comes that focus mainly on building up the relationship or romance between the love interests, 500 Days of Summer quickly addresses the end of their relationship and realistically depicts the inevitable highs and lows in relationships. The film contrasts conventional romance narratives and offers a more meaningful exploration of self-discovery.

I love 500 Days of Summer because of the many lessons it teaches its audience. The film offers insights not only about love and relationships but also about life on a broader scale. It depicts the full and constant cycles that everyone experiences, capturing both the highs and the crashes. The movie portrays the process of picking yourself back up, taking care of yourself, and discovering who you are—phases that everyone is constantly navigating.

I also greatly admire the smaller cinematographic choices, which I believe add significance to the overall messages, though that’s a discussion for another time.

In conclusion, 500 Days of Summer encourages us to reconsider our views on love and happiness. Through Tom’s experience, the film highlights the importance of self-reliance and the impact of media on our expectations, making it a thought-provoking and memorable watch.

However, all in all, this is just my take!

• Lessons from 500 Days of Summer